I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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