I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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