Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
