So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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