I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
