Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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