I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
