We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
