Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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