Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I believe in your delicious
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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