She is in my trunk
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
