remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
