Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
