So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
