ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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