____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
