Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
