I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
