She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
