I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
