she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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