some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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