i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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