I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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