i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
