just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No subtext here. People are naked.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
