using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
