We should be called the Road Head Warriors
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
