Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
