Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
