At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize