he wants to bone in the snuggie
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
