I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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