I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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