Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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