omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
