Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
