and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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