so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
