I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
