final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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