ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
