I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
