Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
