this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
