He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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