I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
