Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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