are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize