Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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