Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
my liver is dry heaving
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
