Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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