I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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