I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
