I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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