When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
