Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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