when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
